I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
tell me about the eggs
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