I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
 go to hell.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
