my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
