I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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