you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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