Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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