Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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