Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She bit a glass in half.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
