I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
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he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
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I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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