I wish I could teleport
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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