dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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