New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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