we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize