PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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