Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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