Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
