I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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