We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
