I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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