you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
