he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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