So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize