I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize