Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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