so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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