when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
