My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
