For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
