You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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