Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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