She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
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Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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