Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
