Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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