True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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