i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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