This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
