What a fucking waste of an outfit
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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