I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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