Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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