You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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