Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
