Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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