I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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