it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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