I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize