he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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