I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
