her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
