True but thats because hes a fetus.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
