so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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