Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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