I wish my penis had an off switch
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
