I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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