they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Randomize
