Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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