ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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