We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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