And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
