So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
