I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
