also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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