Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
