Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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