he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
