Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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