Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
