He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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